1/05/2006

What's Happening Today

Don't you just love Karma attacks?
Let me tell you about mine, it started with a Chistmas Pollyanna at work.
First of all, I have to say that I was looking forward to the party all year and am disappointed that I couldn't get to it. It was a disappointing weekend all around.
12/15/05 I had a message on my machine from a Community College saying that they had three classes that they were interested in having me teach: Intro to Theatre, Beginning Acting and Stage Make-up (dream job!) and wanted me to look over the schedule to see if I liked it and wanted me to sign a contract.
12/1605 in the morning I called and I was told by the head of the department that she hadn't realized that there was already a signed contract for the job and she was terribly sorry to have bothered me but would like to keep me on file. Bummer, but it was cool that they were at least thinking of me (I have a kick ass reference there: the Head of the English Literature department!).
SO, I went out and finished my Christmas shopping (for me). I got my fancy ass new wireless keyboard and mouse, I bought a sirloin steak (I can't cook or eat beef when she's around), Some good veggies, a new video game, a bottle of Bourbon and a bottle of Vodka for the party. Well, on my way home as I was debating whether or not to go to an open house, I noticed smoke billowing from the hood of my car. (This is not an unusual occurrence, but I know that I should stop) I'm thinking that my car is finally on fire.
I pull over at the redneck VFW post and open my hood (which is an art form in my car.) There is engine coolant all over everything and a hose dangling unattached from its post. Minor problem, for a change. I, the actor, hook this hose back up, knowing that it won't stay long because the engine will overheat before I get home and I have no car tools (I'm a Dyke not a mechanic). I figure that if I can get this professionally reattached I can get to the Party the next day.
I go home, and call Bob, my Mechanic. He's not there so I leave a message, and I call his cell and leave the same message. I wait for him to call me back. He does and says he's out of town and can't look at it until 12/19/05.
So now I realize that there's another problem; I have to get to work in the morning and It's a 2 mile hike. 20 minutes, cold, but I wasn't planning to rush and get up at the ass-crack of dawn. I called my supervisor (30 something white male, doesn't realize that he's gay) and tell him my story. He doesn't want me to walk. If worse comes to worst, he will get up an take me to work. (I had to work with him later anyway.) He tells me to call Cal who is a guy I work with who knows about cars, and call the on-call supervisor, who is a friend of mine.
I call the on call tell her I'm gonna walk and she says she'll take me to work. I call Chris and leave a message.
I also, back to trying to get the car fixed the next day, text Mary (my lover's ex-lover who is now my friend. This is how Dykes travel.) and ask her if she can fix it. She says she'll give it a shot (former US Army Mechanic). She has the keys to my place and can get in when she wants to.
Now we're at 12/17/05.
I'm late to work because the On-Call called her boyfriend (Cal) and they decided that since he only lives a block away from me he would pick me up. He overslept and I was late.
I spend all day texting Mary. She can fix it but didn't have the tools and couldn't do it until Sunday. So I couldn't go.
Mary fixed the car.
I had to pick up my Christmas presents after the party.
12/20/05 I went down to pick them up. Lo and behold there's exactly what I need a back massager for my chair. I spend the rest of the day deciding whether to drive or take the bus to see my mother.
12/21/05 I decide that if I take the bus I can write.
12/22/05-12/27/05 I go home for the weekend and the only drama is if my big brother has a new girlfriend or not.
Now between then and today things were pretty boring and normal.
12/31/05 I realize that I have no life and have had none for some time. I get a bottle of bourbon, wine and champagne for the annual ritual of getting drunk before midnight.
I succeeded in watching the ball drop.
1/1/06 I chastise myself for being at work with a hangover.
1/3/06 I have to find out if I have class on Thursday
1/4/06 I have class on Thursday. I go to work, do an appointment go home clean a bit and go back to work. I park my car and it's bleeding coolant. Yes, I need a new car but I can't afford it. I take it to the mechanic in hopes that he can fix it before 11am thursday.
Well, I'll let you know how this Karma attack turns out tomorrow.


Shanna Mawavise


"I wish the stage were as narrow as the wire of a tightrope dancer, so that no incompetent would dare step upon it." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

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